Archaeologists Stunned to Discover Ancient Civilization Had Wi-Fi, TikTok, and a Starbucks
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Archaeologists Stunned to Discover Ancient Civilization Had Wi-Fi, TikTok, and a Starbucks

By Now National News
October 22, 2025 at 11:16 PM

In a groundbreaking discovery that has left historians scratching their heads and tech experts Googling, archaeologists have unearthed an ancient civilization that apparently used modern technology—complete with Wi-Fi routers, TikTok dance studios, and a fully functional Starbucks drive-thru.

The site, dubbed "Techno-Tulum," was found beneath what was previously thought to be an ordinary desert. Instead, researchers found perfectly preserved smartphones, wireless charging pads, and wall murals depicting what experts believe to be the first viral cat video. Lead archaeologist Dr. Ima Quester shared her disbelief, saying, "We expected clay tablets or stone tools, but instead, we found a dusty iPad running on what must be ancient 5G. I even saw a hieroglyph that looked suspiciously like an emoji."

Local historian Bob "History Buff" McGee added, "We've always known these people were advanced, but not this advanced. Their calendar app was set for 2025, which makes me wonder if they were just really ahead of their time or maybe time travelers. Either way, their obsession with avocado toast depicted in petroglyphs is uncanny."

In a surprising twist, the Starbucks found onsite still serves frappuccinos, although archaeologists warn against the "iced coffee of doom," reported to cause existential crises in less than five sips. As the world adjusts to this revelation, one thing is clear: ancient civilizations were not just about pyramids and pottery—they were also about perfecting the art of scrolling endlessly through social media.

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