In an unprecedented display of political strategy and sheer hand agility, the small town of Bumblescratch has elected its new mayor through a fiercely contested Rock-Paper-Scissors tournament. Voters, tired of endless debates and campaign ads, unanimously agreed that nothing says democracy like a best-of-seven hand game.

The final match saw incumbent Mayor Sally Snippet face off against challenger Bob “The Blade” Jenkins. After a nail-biting series of throws, including a surprising ‘paper’ counter to what many assumed would be a ‘rock’, Jenkins clinched victory, promising to lead with "the sharpness of scissors and the flexibility of paper."

"I always said politics was a game of chance," said Jenkins, adjusting his hand wraps like a prizefighter. "Turns out, it's also about reading your opponent’s tells. Today, I read Sally’s palm better than her policies."

Mayor Snippet took the loss gracefully. "I guess my policies were rock-solid, but his scissors cut through my platform. Next time, I’m bringing a lizard to the table," she quipped, referencing an unofficial tournament variant that no one was ready for.

Political analysts are baffled but intrigued. Dr. Ima Jest, professor of Political Satire at Whimsy University, noted, "This method cuts down on negative campaigning, voter fatigue, and campaign finance issues. Plus, it really separates the paper-pushers from the rock-solid candidates."

As Bumblescratch sets a new standard for democratic elections, citizens eagerly await the next campaign season, rumored to include “Lizard-Spock” rules and possibly a giant inflatable hammer for tie-breakers. One thing’s clear: in Bumblescratch, politics is now truly a game of hands.