Nation of Floatonia Declares Independence from Gravity, Residents Now Officially Weightless
In an unprecedented move that has left physicists and shoe manufacturers baffled worldwide, the tiny European nation of Floatonia has officially declared independence from gravity. The government announced yesterday that, effective immediately, gravity is no longer recognized as a binding force within its borders.
Prime Minister Levita Alofta held a press conference from her office, which, notably, was suspended three meters above the ground without any visible support. "For too long, Floatonia has been held down by the oppressive pull of gravity," she declared. "Today, we rise—literally—towards a future where our citizens can float freely, unburdened by the tyranny of terrestrial physics."
Citizens celebrated by releasing thousands of helium balloons and attempting to float their pets using handmade jetpacks powered by optimism and leftover croissants. Local resident Bob Blimpson shared his excitement: "I tried to make my morning coffee while hovering, but spilled it everywhere. Still, worth it! Gravity was always such a drag."
However, some challenges have already emerged. The Floatonian Postal Service reports a 200% increase in lost mail, blaming it on "undeliverable letters drifting into the atmosphere." Meanwhile, the national airline is now offering "hover seats" that come with complimentary safety nets and complimentary dizziness.
In a humorous twist, neighboring countries have started a petition to "restore gravity relations," fearing that sudden levitation might cause diplomatic talks to literally go over their heads. For now, Floatonia remains buoyant in its newfound freedom, proving that sometimes, the sky really is the limit.