Scientists Discover Coffee Plants Can Now Make Their Own Cups
In a groundbreaking discovery that has left the scientific community both caffeinated and confused, researchers at the International Institute of Bewildering Botany have announced that coffee plants have evolved the ability to grow their own ceramic cups.
Dr. Java Bean, lead researcher on the project, explained the phenomenon while sipping from a freshly harvested plant-cup: "It started as a simple observation. We noticed some coffee plants in Colombia were producing what appeared to be small, handle-shaped growths. Upon closer inspection, we realized these weren't malformed branches—they were fully functional coffee cups."
The discovery has sent shockwalk through both the scientific and coffee industries. Major coffee chains are reportedly scrambling to secure exclusive partnerships with these self-serving plants, while environmentalists are hailing this as nature's solution to disposable cup waste.
"This changes everything," said Maria Espresso, a barista-turned-botanist. "Imagine a world where your morning coffee literally grows on trees, cup and all. We might finally achieve the perfect work-life balance—or at least a perfectly balanced breakfast."
The research team is now investigating reports of tea plants developing their own saucers and hot chocolate trees sprouting marshmallow branches.