In an unprecedented display of technological wizardry, the startup company EternalCell has announced a smartphone battery that lasts a staggering 10 years on a single charge. Despite this groundbreaking claim, consumers and experts alike remain skeptically glued to their charging cables, collectively shrugging as if someone just told them their toaster can double as a time machine.

"We made a battery so efficient, it might outlive your grandchildren," said CEO Max Voltage during the unveiling. "We actually had to hire a full-time historian just to keep track of how old the battery is."

However, the public’s response has been less than electrifying. "I don’t believe it until it survives my usual habit of charging my phone three times an hour," quipped tech blogger Lana Byte. "Also, if I don’t plug in, my phone just looks naked and useless. It’s a psychological thing."

Adding to the skepticism, many users have expressed confusion over what to do with a phone that essentially never dies. "I tried to charge it out of habit," confessed Greg Watt, an early tester. "I plugged it in, and the phone just gave me a judgmental look. I think it’s starting to feel superior to me."

In a surprising twist, sales of portable phone chargers have paradoxically surged since the announcement, as customers refuse to trust anything that doesn't need constant fueling. Industry insiders predict that EternalCell’s battery might spark a cultural revolution—or at least a decade-long debate over what to do with perfectly powered phones. Until then, people will keep charging their devices, just in case.