In a stunning display of backyard ingenuity and a questionable understanding of astrophysics, local Florida man Eugene "Blastoff" McGillicuddy has built a fully operational rocket ship using only pool noodles, duct tape, and an impressive collection of garden gnomes.

Neighbors reported seeing McGillicuddy donning a glittery space helmet fashioned from a mixing bowl while shouting countdowns at unusually regular intervals. "He said Mars was the next logical spot for the flamingo population," said his neighbor, Carol Jenkins. "I'm just worried he'll accidentally bring back space aliens or worse, cosmic lawn flamingos."

When asked about his inspiration, McGillicuddy stated, "NASA's just too slow. Plus, their rockets don’t have cup holders or a built-in snack dispenser. My ship, the Flamingo Express, is fully equipped for interplanetary travel and mid-flight taco breaks."

Local authorities have urged caution but admitted they are "genuinely curious" about the rocket's actual takeoff capabilities. Meanwhile, the Mars Society sent a polite request for Eugene to "please bring back souvenirs and maybe a postcard."

Whether or not the Flamingo Express ever leaves Florida soil, one thing is clear: Eugene McGillicuddy has boldly gone where no man has gone before — into backyard rocketry, fueled by optimism and an alarming amount of duct tape.