In a revelation that has rocked Tinseltown and playgrounds alike, acclaimed actor Johnny Starshine has been unmasked as not one person, but three children stacked inside a remarkably well-tailored trench coat. The discovery was made on the set of his latest blockbuster, "Epic Quest: Return of the Snack," when a particularly energetic jump caused the coat’s top hat to fly off, revealing the trio mid-giggle.

Director Lana Sparks, reportedly "blindsided and slightly amused," told reporters, "I always suspected Johnny had boundless energy and an uncanny ability to share snacks, but I never imagined the talent pool was literally three kids in a trench coat. I’m currently renegotiating the budget to include juice boxes and extra recesses."

The three kids, who have coyly identified themselves as Max, Lily, and Theo, claim they formed the trench coat troupe to "make movies cooler than homework." Max, the 'top hat,' commented, "We just wanted to act and avoid math, but the popcorn machine kept calling."

Fans worldwide have expressed delight at the news, with many promising to support the new trio, provided they keep the trench coat dry. Meanwhile, merchandising has already begun, with "Three Kids in a Coat" action figures set to hit shelves next summer. As for Johnny Starshine, he’s reportedly considering a solo career under the name "Tiny Talent Trio."