In an unprecedented move that has left neuroscientists and New Yorkers equally baffled, the City Council of New York is reportedly considering legislation to ban "loud thinking." According to sources close to the matter, officials have grown tired of the audible mental chatter that, until now, was believed to be confined to the realm of silent meditation and private introspection.

"It's gotten out of hand," said Councilwoman Mindy Reflectowitz, who spearheaded the proposal. "People are walking down 5th Avenue, clearly thinking at decibel levels that could rival a subway train. The city is not equipped to handle this kind of cerebral noise pollution."

The proposed ordinance would require all New Yorkers to keep their thoughts at a "reasonable internal volume," with violators subject to fines ranging from $50 to an embarrassing conversation with a therapist. "If you must think loudly," Reflectowitz added, "please do it in designated zones, like the New York Public Library's Quiet Zone or during late-night subway rides."

Local residents have expressed mixed reactions. Tim Brainstorm, a self-proclaimed loud thinker and jazz musician, lamented, "This is an attack on my creativity. How am I supposed to improvise if my ideas can’t reach the back of the room?" Meanwhile, elderly resident Gladys Mute claimed, "Finally, some peace. I could hear people arguing with themselves from three blocks away."

As the debate heats up, experts warn that policing thought volume could have unintended consequences, including a surge in silent but aggressive eye-rolling and clandestine daydreaming. For now, New Yorkers are advised to keep both their voices and their thoughts under control—lest the city impose a curfew on mental noise as well.