In an unprecedented event that has left both toddlers and historians scratching their heads, London Bridge has actually fallen down – for real this time. Eyewitnesses report that the iconic structure, famous for its catchy nursery rhyme, decided to take a literal interpretation of the song, resulting in a slow-motion collapse this Tuesday afternoon.

“I always thought it was just a silly rhyme,” said local mum and part-time conspiracy theorist Karen Bumble. “But when I saw the bridge wobble and then topple, I knew it was time to build a LEGO version for my kids.” Meanwhile, the London Bridge Tourist Association confirmed that attendance has skyrocketed, with visitors lining up to see the ‘historic’ rubble and take selfies with the confused ducks swimming nearby.

City officials assured the public that the collapse was entirely planned as part of an elaborate arts project called ‘Bridge Down, Spirits Up.’ “We wanted to remind everyone of the fragility of infrastructure and the importance of singing your nursery rhymes responsibly,” said project lead Nigel Twiddle. “Also, it’s a great excuse to sell souvenir rubble.”

As cleanup crews began piecing the bridge back together with the help of enthusiastic volunteers and several cups of tea, residents were left pondering the future. One local pigeon, known only as Reginald, remarked, “I never thought I’d see the day, but I suppose now I can finally say I witnessed history – and maybe get some better nesting spots.” London Bridge may be down for now, but at least the rhyme can finally be sung with genuine feeling.